Midnight Makeout

I just read an article –http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2337687.ece and I am in complete shock. She cannot be serious right? Alina Percea has put losing her virginity up for auction? She is 18 years old (thank goodness!).  So apparently she is allowed to do this??? I think I know where she got this so soo classy idea from too. She definately got the idea from Natalie Dylan who is also putting her virginity up for bid.  Read that article here http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/12/natalie-dylan-auctions-of_n_157329.html

Whatever happened to losing your virginity like any other high school kid?  In the woods, in your bedroom while your parents are asleep, the backseat of your first car ? ANYWHERE lol And it is usually with your boyfriend/girlfriend…closest friend of the opposite sex type of deal or same sex. Whatever floats your boat. But really maybe I am too old for this? Late 20’s am I too old to understand the online selling of your virginity?? I really should not be shocked. I think they sell used socks on e-bay  lol.

I find it completely over the top funny that Alina hopes to find her husband this way. How do you explain that to your future kids. “Yes mommy and daddy met when mommy was selling herself out online…daddy was the highest paying so he won mommy” HA HA HA

Like seriously WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??? Like who really would seriously pay over $3 million to sleep with a virgin? Is it that big of a deal? Apparently it must be.

The LIAR and CHEATER of the century!!!

Ever know that smooth talking fairly attractive male or female that really just seemed sketchy from the very beginning??? Maybe it was the fact that they told you they had cheated on EVERY girlfriend they have ever had that made  you on edge or maybe it was the fact they just appeared to be bi-polar? Well ladies and gentlemen I have officially joined that club. Just when you think you know someone… let’s face it you really don’t. Thanks to my gut instinct and my great intuition I really saved myself from really making a HUGE mistake by sticking with this one. Ah I should of ran three years ago when he hid the fact that he had a daughter so he could get laid.  I really mean hid the fact like HID PICTURES OF HER to get laid. Amazing… ahhh shoulda, coulda, woulda. I guess we all have regrets. I can just add this ridiculous adventure to that very short list of regrets of mine. Everyone has a moment where they feel like they have been “played” and I really thought those moments ended when you were in High School. Apparently, it does not because there are VERY immature individuals with really BIG issues who bring this shittyness into adulthood with them. I by no means am perfect and I really have had my moments of name calling and crying but the level of deceit some individuals carry out is just really REALLY scary. And to think some of these individuals teach your kids, have kids or BOTH! I really hope they aren’t teaching “how to be a douchebag 101″ to the future of America because that in my opinion is the only course they could realllly teach well.

So I realized I am not the only one in the world that has had to play detective due to certain clues being projected by a certain “special” person/bf/gf/spouse ect….

So I thought I would share with you the specifics of the behavior that tipped me off. Go to work detectives. You deserve to be respected, appreciated and loved. Liars and cheaters know only how to respect, appreciate and love themselves. AND remember ladies…..

A woman’s gut instinct is rarely wrong, so listen to it! Women also seem to be born detectives.

SIGNS OF A LIAR AND A CHEAT:

The passenger seat in the car has been moved and is not in the usual position.

Unaccounted for hairs of a different color on clothing.

Condom count is off.

Leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the telephone.

Hangs up suddenly when you walk in the room.

Uses computer alone and secretly with a demand for privacy - If someone begins cheating, whether on-line or in real life, they’ll often go to great lengths to hide the truth from their partner.

Excessive internet usage especially late at night.

Joins a health gym or weight reduction clinic.

 New hairstyle. OR facial hair
Wears hair spray, colognes & perfumes more often.

An unexplained indifference or aloofness in the relationship.

Spontaneous plans or events that do not include you.

Your partner becomes defensive during normal conversations.

Cheater’s relationship with you will almost always change. They become more distant, fault-finding or blame you for their behavior.

OR….

CATCH THEM IN A LIE ABOUT WHERE THEY ARE GOING ON VACATION WITH THEIR SINGLE GUY FRIENDS. THEY SAY NEW ORLEANS BUT REALLY THEY ARE GOING TO A TOPLESS SWINGERS RESORT IN CANCUN MEXICO. —-> yeah that one pretty much gives it away right there that they are cheating on you.

If you would like to see the full list from our friends over at ….

www.womansaver.com you can click this link here….

http://www.womansavers.com/catch-a-cheater.asp

*Remember…

Love is a word that is constantly heard,
Hate is a word that is not.
Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.
Love, I have read, is hot.
But Hate is the verb that to me is superb,
And Love but a drug on the mart.
Any kiddie in school can Love like a fool,
But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

by Patrick Byrne (owner of overstock.com)

“I think…therefore, I’m single. ” -Lizz Winstead, Co-creator Daily Show, The Man Show

“Is there a cure for a broken heart?  Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken arms and legs. “- Miss Piggy

“Sex without love is like food without taste. “- Maurice Fitznuggly

Everyone I know is totally into this basketball thing right now. All I know is that one year in college I filled out my brackets for this thing that all my guy friends were doing and they said just fill it in with teams you think will win. I knew NOTHING and still know NOTHING about college basketball (even though I was a college basketball cheerleader haha). So I filled in my brackets in order of how much I liked the colors of the team. Amazingly I won the whole thing. I won cash too. My strategy works. If your behind because you picked bad teams, maybe you should have considered how much you like the color of the team. lol. 

But for all of you keeping up with college hoops….

A present from midnight makeout—-> http://www.teamrankings.com/ncb/ 

It’s probably one of the best websites to help you follow what is going on.

You’re welcome

President Obama became the first sitting president to conduct a late-night comedy show last night. I wasn’t shocked that he was doing the interview with Jay Leno because President Obama twitters and is realllly into facebook. So I figured interviewing on the Leno show was something this president would do. He is considered “hip” and is known for his sense of humor. If you haven’t heard that our president last night made a joke about his bowling skills being like the special olympics, you are really living under a rock. I don’t think his joke was wrong. We all have made jokes of this nature. Now granted we are not the President of the United States BUT if we are going to allow our President to do a late-night comedy show we have to accept that a joke or two might be SUPER funny (because it really was haha) OR slightly unacceptable for our President to say. We all know those boring interviews that make us fall asleep promptly at 11:45pm…and I am happy that President Obama cracked a few jokes and made it what it is suppose to be A LATE-NITE COMEDY SHOW.  It wasn’t meant to be a press conference. I mean HELLO he got to wear a shirt and YES JEANS!!! I don’t think it was as bad as everyone is making it out to be. It’s not like he threw out a “yo mama” joke to the American people. It’s not like he dropped the “f-bomb”. It’s not like he was making fun of Sarah Palins kid… oh wait a minute. HAHA! Yea…that is okay with me.

http://www.nj.com/newsflash/index.ssf?/base/entertainment-14/123752636844560.xml&storylist=entertainment

So apparently there is a plan to tax the bonuses given out to the AIG creeps.  Somehow after reading this article I feel like we don’t have the resources etc… to even get this tax thing right.  They got rich off of our money. That is the truth and we have to accept it.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090319/ap_on_go_co/aig_outrage

Hey Jess,

I dont think Congress got to stick it to AIG with no lube. I think AIG stuck it to the American taxpayers with no lube and did I mention no consent?

It’s that time of year when your girl scout cookies are coming in OR you’re bumping into those screaming little girls selling them in random public places. Seems you cannot escape them. They are at the grocery, the train station, Walmart, even the mall…etc. I am a very proud girl scout drop out. I didn’t last much passed 10/11 years old. I was a girl scout for about 5 years before girl scout camp completely did me in. Not because I am soo girlie and love the color pink but because I had a close encounter with a snake. I do not like snakes. Scratch that, I HATE SNAKES.  I cried hard every time my mom sent me to girl scout camp. I even recall a time where our troop leader purposely opened the out house door on my sister while she was peeing as a joke and I FLIPPED OUT on her.  Big surprise that I flipped out…I know. lol But seriously, I have memories that I will never forget about my girl scout days. Heather and I went together and eventually Tiff was old enough to join our troop.  I want to say we were probably the trouble makers of the group but who knows really. I think the troop leaders’ daughter and her friends were definately bitches so if you ask me they were the cause of all chaos.

But I do not recall ever being so into really selling the cookies. I mean I hit up my family and neighbors like any other but I don’t recall trying to pawn them off at the local grocery store or even dressing up as the cookie and trying to sell them at the mall. Lame attempt by the way. What would impress me would be them in little chef outfits with easy bake ovens baking them hot and fresh right then and there.

But anyway the day your coworker brings in your girl scout cookies it is almost like you hit the lotto. I get people running up to me going “I got my girl scout cookies YESSSS” or emails or IM’s from friends/coworkers saying the same. I am sad now though because I have not received my cookies. I am suffering from girl scout cookie envy at the moment. I ordered the thin mints for Tiff since she likes to eat them frozen. I also got the samoas for my dad and the shortbread for myself. Little did I know that Tiff already had thin mints ordered through Mike’s job. Now she is realllllly happy because she has double. lol

So do tell… what is your girl scout cookie of choice? AND have yours come in yet???????

Didn’t buy girl scout cookies? Can’t seem to find those screaming girls outside Walmart or at the mall to buy some? Check this out…. a restaurant making desserts after the girl scout cookie flavors. That is what I call awesome!      http://www.delish.com/food/food-articles/san-diego-restaurant-week-girl-scouts

“The following is in response to http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/hispanic.asp.  Written by Aarin and we the people here at midnight makeout support what Aarin has to say…. so enjoy.” ~Jessica

This bulletin is for all the ILLEGAL aliens, the way to liberal sympathizers, and all the fuckers that think flying the American flag upside down is the proper way to handle the situation. I for one have had enough! If you don’t like our country so much then why did you come here? No-one forced you to come and no-one is stopping you from leaving. Let me be the first to tell you whats really up here in America. We have thousands upon thousands of men and women fighting in other countries, leaving there families behind, and some giving that ultimate sacrifice. Do you know why they are doing it? Its for that flag that you fuckers are disgracing by flying upside down. Its not just a colored piece of cloth but its a symbol for what this country is and stands for. It stands for the bravery and the bloodshed, it stands for the freedoms that make this country great. I for one don’t want some ungrateful bastards coming here ILLEGALLY and and demanding rights. You are ILLEGAL!!! you have no rights in this country…none…zip …zilch. I don’t want people to get me wrong, i have no problem with people trying to better their lives, and if you need to come to this GREAT country to do it, fine but do it legally, learn the language, you know English! Be productive members of society, embrace the people and the American cultures. I don’t want you to forget your heritage, but i want you to respect mine. We don’t owe you ANYTHING!!!! I know our immigration system isn’t perfect and it can be difficult to get some things done in a timely fashion, but its better then nothing so deal with it! A little side note to the American liberals that think we should give our country away because they are to scared that they may offend someone….Well I’m offended by it..oh wait! i forgot I’m only a hard working American citizen, what i say or think doesn’t matter anymore! Why do you want the tail to wag the dog, your all coward little fuckers that have to much time on your hands to do anything good for the country.

A few last things before my head explodes…To Augustin Cebada….FUCK YOU REAL HARD…SO HARD YOUR EYES BLEED!!!!!!! We are not going anywhere!!! To anyone that booed the national anthem at the February 15, 1998 U.S. and Mexican soccer game …FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!! and the donkey you rode in on! To all those who are offended by these statements..GO THE FUCK HOME…WE DON’T NEED YOU OR YOUR SELF RIGHTEOUS EGOTISTICAL WAYS

Is it me or is this news story a bit erotic?  This volcano erupted off the shores of Tonga in the South Pacific.  Steam, Smoke and ash shot thousands of feet into the sky. Sexy? I say it is very sexy. Kinda like the ocean had an orgasm. You know I am right. See more here http://www.nydailynews.com/news/galleries/pictures_of_volcanos/pictures_of_volcanos.html

As a gay man in my twenties I am certainly all about fashion do’s and don’ts.

Please learn to love and embrace these wonderful rules. It will help us all to coexist without rage between us because of your hideous outfit. J

TOP FASHION DO’s and DON’TS

For Women

If you are out of high school (older than 18 yrs old) you should not be wearing tights with a design.  Just don’t. Not only will you look like your dressing like a younger teenager but these leggings make your legs look heavier. Do you want to purposely make yourself look fat? I didn’t think so. See picture below

Do match your handbag and your shoes UNLESS you can perfectly match two primary colors. *see the colors rule below*.  Yes, you can get away with not matching BUT you have to do it right. Do not match bright yellow heels with a brown bag please do not do that.

DO NOT wear tights/nylons with a closed toe with opened toed shoes!!!!

Do not wear pants that are too tight for you. You will just be creating the muffin top look and NOBODY thinks that is flattering.

Always wear a bra. No excuse. They make bras that cris-cross and swoop low. And if the shirt you’re wearing cannot accommodate a bra that you have or can buy…they have tape special for this problem. Invest in tape. Your boobs will thank you in the long run.

For Men

Do not wear cut off jean shorts. Just don’t.

Do not expose your underwear. Just don’t.

Do not wear a colored tuxedo. And please make sure it is not too tight.

Do not wear shiny suits. Just don’t.

Do not wear plaid pants. Please don’t.

Do not unbutton your shirt exposing your chest. That is just creepy.

For both

Do not mix navy and black. HUGE no-no. There are plenty of colors that go with them such as …. *cream *white *beige *brown

Do not wear acid washed jeans. Just Don’t.

Do not mix two seasons in one outfit. Such as: wear a miniskirt with a turtleneck sweater. OR for men: wear khaki shorts with a sweater.

*Do not mix lots of colors. You can mix TWO primary colors that go good together: purple/green, pink/yellow, red/blue….but do not mix more than two. You’re look will be the “I couldn’t decide which two colors to wear so I wore them all” And by primary I really do mean primary colors please do not start matching pastels. You will just look like an Easter basket exploded on you when you got dressed.

Please do not wear crocs unless you are in some sort of medical profession or you are under the age of 10.

Please do not wear a fanny pack and please do not make your children wear a fanny pack.

If you have black pants on … your socks should be black. If you have navy pants with brown shoes…your socks should be navy. Get it? Your socks should be the color of your pants! So no more white socks ok?!